


All These Things We'll One Day Swallow Whole

by Ithinkwehaveanemergency



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Grief/Mourning, M/M, Minor Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 09:13:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16092581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ithinkwehaveanemergency/pseuds/Ithinkwehaveanemergency
Summary: One year after the day that he watched his best friend die, Nolan gets the courage to visit his grave.He's surprised to see someone else there as well.OrHappy death-a-versary, Teen Wolf.





	All These Things We'll One Day Swallow Whole

**Author's Note:**

> Title belongs to Radiohead.

The wind is far more biting than usual for the time of year.  Nolan’s muscles twitch and flex under his skin in response. He pulls his denim jacket tighter, ducking his head in a futile attempt to shield himself from the cold.

 

The cemetery is abnormally busy, considering the early hour.  There are at least fifteen cars in the lot.  Nolan isn't sure why he's surprised at that, considering the significance of the day.  He supposes that he tries not to think about how many others lost someone the day the anukite and Monroe both attacked the town.  He nods in polite, solemn greeting as he crosses paths with a girl from his humanities class that he's hung out with a few times.  She offers a smile that doesn’t meet her eyes as she continues down the path that leads to the large wrought iron gate where he'd seen her car parked next to his own.

 

Nolan veers left when the path splits in three directions.  He's surprised that he remembers his destination, considering it'd been almost a year since the funeral.

 

He had wanted to come back, but he was always conflicted.  Would Gabe even want him here? Would Gabe forgive him for abandoning him?  For betraying his trust?

 

Nolan freezes in place.  He sees a hooded figure standing over Gabe’s modest headstone.  The figure is still as Nolan gets his bearings back and moves slowly toward the grave.

 

The man is in plain black work dickies and a large black sweater, any identifying apparel or skin hidden from sight, but Nolan would know Scott McCall anywhere.

 

“Do you want me to go?”  Scott’s hoarse voice startles him as he steps up slightly behind the alpha werewolf.

 

“No, I… can you stay actually?”  Nolan answers immediately. Scott turns his head ever so slightly toward the younger man, but not enough that Nolan can see his eyes.  He gives a soft nod and pulls his right hand out of his sweater pocket. He offers it wordlessly to the human. Nolan takes another step forward, closer to Scott, and tangles their fingers together.  “How did you know I'd be here?”

 

“I didn't.”  Scott answers and looks toward Nolan again, this time enough so that Nolan can see his eyes.  They're unexpectedly clear. Happy even. “I come talk to Gabe a lot. At least once a month, actually.  Ever since…”

 

Scott turns away again and the countless possibilities for the rest of his sentence are implied.

 

_Ever since Monroe died._

 

_Ever since the war ended._

 

_Ever since you told me what you two went through._

 

_Ever since you kissed me._

 

All possible endings to that sentence lead to the same day.

 

A few days after Liam and the others graduated from high school, Nolan turned 18.

 

Pack business had been quiet and the soon-to-be-senior had become part of the fold.  The brash and ill-tempered new couple, Theo and Liam, specifically, had taken him under their wing.  Theo treated him like a brother. Hayden, who was back in town with her sister and sharing a leased townhouse with Theo and her sister and sister’s baby, did as well.  The three supernatural adults had taken Nolan in when his dad had become overwhelmed by grief and depression and checked himself into rehab. They were an odd little family, several members of the household having attempted to murder others at certain points in time, but they all somehow grew to love each other unconditionally.

 

Nolan refused to think of Liam as a brother, partly because of the huge crush he had on him pre-war, and partly because Liam had slept with both his pseudo brother and sister.

 

The McCall pack was an incestuous mess sometimes.

 

The party that Theo and Hayden had organized for Nolan's 18th was doubling as a graduation celebration and most of BHHS’s graduating class, as well as the entire McCall pack was at Sinema.  While they celebrated and waited for the first of honor to arrive, Monroe intercepted him and his chauffeur, Scott, keeping them locked and held hostage deep in the cellar of a building that was built with mountain ash and wolfsbane infused stone.

 

The two had grown close after Nolan asked for self defense tips and lessons, and Nolan had come to have romantic feelings for the 20 year old alpha.

 

As they sat there, Scott’s head in Nolan’s lap, alternating between struggling to stay human and struggling to breathe, the werewolf had told Nolan that he had feelings for him too.  Nolan, sure they were going to die there, or at least Scott was, had smiled sadly and told Scott about all the things they would do once they got out of there. About the dates they were going to go on.  About the way they would be so adorable they'd out PDA even Theo and Liam. About how Nolan wanted to be asked to his own senior Prom. Scott had laughed through a pained grimace, coughing up splatters of black blood into his fist and reminded Nolan he'd be 21 and too old to attend by that time.  Nolan had laughed back to hide his sobs and promised they'd find a way.

 

Nolan had bent down to kiss the alpha softly, thinking they'd never have another chance. Scott had whispered that he knew Nolan would be okay without him, and that he was glad he'd come into his life before passing out completely.

 

Then Braeden had smashed through the door.  Literally. With an electronic battering ram, accompanied by Malia, Rafe, Argent and an army of FBI agents.  Rafe had rushed Scott home to Deaton and Melissa's care to make sure he pulled out back from the brink of death as quickly as possible, and Argent stayed with Nolan and looked over his minor wounds from the kidnapping as the rest of the pack arrived, party long since abandoned.

 

Malia had pulled Nolan away as the dust settled.  She took him to Braeden’s SUV and drove him home. She and Braeden had explained to everyone that they had been tracking and following Monroe as temporary agents of the FBI, waiting until the time was right to strike, and they couldn't reach out to warn the pack when it led them back to Beacon County without risking their plan to defeat Monroe, but they'd discretely kidnapped Argent earlier that day to enlist his help.

 

“I'm with Braeden.  Like… _with_ her.”  Malia had told him as they'd pulled up to the McCall house.  Nolan had looked at her with confusion clear on his dirt smudged face.  She rolled her eyes. “I'm telling you so that you don't think that I'm going to claw your face off for boning my ex-boyfriend.”

 

Nolan had laughed and punched her in the shoulder as he denied he was doing any such thing, to which she simply responded to with a, “Yet.”

 

Nolan had gone inside and up the familiar stairs to find Melissa standing at Scott's bedside.  He was awake and speaking softly when he walked into the bedroom. Melissa nodded and turned to Nolan with a worried expression.  She'd taken him into her arms and hugged him so hard he thought he might've broken a rib, until Scott laughed and asked her not to crush his human.

 

She let Nolan go with a kiss on the cheek and left the room.

 

Nolan had crawled into bed bed with Scott and despite him insisting that Scott need sleep, they spent hours talking about everything.  From informing Scott that Monroe had died, to telling Scott the whole story behind his friendship with Gabe and how it became almost codependent when Gabe’s sister Emily was killed and Nolan's mom passed away from cancer.  They were put in therapy together.  They took care of eachother.  When they felt like no one was there to protect them, they always had eachother's backs.

 

Scott had been astonished at the information.  No one in the pack had ever put together that Gabe was related to Caitlin's girlfriend, and Scott felt embarrassed that he didn't know.  The alpha, in turn, shared the story of Allison, who Nolan had only heard about in small mentions.

 

When they woke in the early afternoon, emotionally and physically exhausted from the last 24 hours, Scott asked Nolan if he wanted to take back all the plans they'd made when he was dying.  Nolan had just smiled and kissed Scott.

 

Nolan looks over at Scott, wondering if his boyfriend has just gone down the same train of thought as Nolan.

 

“I talk to them.”  Scott says, answering the unspoken question.  It's an answer that Nolan isn't expecting, and his heart skips a bit in surprise.  “I tell them the things that people in this town have done, keep them up to date. I tell them how Caitlin is.  And you. I tell him about you.”

 

Nolan's chest tightens.

 

“I know that the last thing that happened between you wasn't exactly happy, but think he would probably want to know about you.”  Scott squeezes Nolans hand tight. He smiles and lets out a soft laugh. “And sometimes when I'm here I just cry. And I say that I fucked up horribly when I didn't protect this town well enough.  I tell them that I’m sorry I did this to them.”

 

Nolan isn't sure what he’s supposed to do with Scott's confession.  He knows the alpha isnt looking for comfort or consolation. He knows Scott doesnt actually think that he’s responsible for all the deaths that came from the evil that was drawn to Beacon Hills once he became a werewolf.

 

But Nolan often blames himself for Gabe's death, and Liam often blames himself for Brett's.  Stiles blames himself for more than one death, and Derek blames himself for far more deaths than he should.  And then, Theo actually did kill people, so he is constantly plagued with guilt.

 

They all are.

 

Nolan lets go of Scotts hand and lowers himself to sit down on the wet grass and dirt.  He looks at the stone in front of him.

 

“Sometimes I’m mad at you, Gabe.”  Nolan frowns as he says the words. But he instantly feels better.  And he leans into the side of Scott's leg with his shoulder. His boyfriend threads a hand through the hair on top of Nolan’s head, and he relaxes, sighing out in relief.  “But more often than that, I miss you, Gabe. I'll always miss you.”

  
  



End file.
